Interview with Robert Uttaro, the author of To The Survivors

Robert Uttaro is currently in his 12th year as a rape crisis counselor and community educator.

Inspired by his undergraduate studies in Criminal Justice, he continues to embrace a life-long commitment to activism and advocacy for survivors of sexual violence.

Serving as a counselor, Uttaro supports rape survivors and their significant others through myriad emotional, spiritual, and legal issues. He also facilitates workshops that unpack the realities of sexual violence, and offers strategies for support and prevention with a focus on healing.

Uttaro has been featured in magazine publications across the country and on international radio broadcasts; in fact, his book inspired a current radio series by the same name, “To the Survivors” in Akure, Nigeria.

Through the grace of God, Uttaro's work and To the Survivors continues to impact peoples’ minds and hearts globally.

- Connect with the Author - 

In a chat with Mru's Books and Review the author tells us about his journey as a rape crisis counselor, how it began, what happens in the present and his vision for the future. In all the interactions with Mru's Books, Robert comes across as a very soft-spoken, kind and genuine person, dedicated to his cause and I felt honored working with him. 

Read A Review and Summary of the Book Here

Tell us a little bit about yourself – where you grew up, your background, education, where you work, and your family.

I grew up just outside of Boston, Massachusetts in a town called Dedham, and I come from a very hard working family. My parents instilled a strong work ethic to my 4 four siblings that has lasted throughout our lives. If it were not for my parents, I would not have gone to college. Looking back on my life, I am quite thankful to them for making me go because I enjoyed learning about philosophy, sociology, crime, prison, and the criminal justice system. It is through these studies and the grace of God that I became a rape crisis counselor, and my life has never been the same. Over time, I learned that I love teaching youth, so I currently work in multiple schools working with kids in a variety of ways. Some of my hobbies include listening to music, basketball, watching mixed martial arts, cooking, and spending quality time with loved ones.

Tell our readers about your work at THP as a volunteer.

My experiences as a rape crisis counselor have been deeply painful and fulfilling, depressing and inspirational. People often say things like, “That must be so heavy.” It is, and it comes with many struggles, but I love what I do and will do this work as long as I am able to with God’s grace and strength. I have learned so much and am incredibly thankful when people open up about their deepest and darkest pain. It is a gift to witness people change, grow, and heal from sexual trauma, and it is a true blessing to be a part of that process when I can be. I probably can’t even fully describe all that it entails because it is hard to put into human words, but this is spiritual work. As hard as it is, I highly recommend it for anyone who feels the call. 

How is a day in the life of Robert Uttaro, when do you work, when do you volunteer, when do you write?

My days can change easily, but usually I am in schools all day and I do some of my writing and outreach at night or on the weekends. However, when emergencies arise or I participate in events, I take time off of work to give all of my energy to it. Rape crisis counseling, advocacy and education are so important to me that I make that work a priority when necessary. I usually work long days with a lot of people, so I truly enjoy moments of rest and peace with my family.

How did the idea of writing a book about Rape Survivors come to you?

I did not consider myself a writer and never once tried to write a book until the experience of an intensely vivid dream one morning changed my life. I woke up from this dream and said, “I have to write a book.” I interpreted this dream as a vision from God. I prayed to God, moved from the bed to the computer, opened up Microsoft Word, and continued to pray. That is how To the Survivors began. In other words, God inspired me to write To the Survivors.

What was the best thing about writing this book?

It is really difficult for me to say what the best thing is because there were so many blessings during the writing process and blessings that continue as time goes on. However, it was special to have multiple people share their stories, experience and wisdom with me. These people opened up their hearts and souls, and they trusted me enough to publish their words in To the Survivors.  Through their vulnerability and honesty, I continue to see it resonate and impact other people. These are precious gifts that I will always cherish.

What was the worst thing about writing this book?

Writing To the Survivors was very difficult for me for different reasons. I do not enjoy or care to write about myself, so that was difficult. However, the hardest thing was actually typing out the survivor stories. There are interviews that I recorded on a little recorder, so I would have to play, stop, type, play, stop, type, go back because I missed something, type, listen, stop, type, etc. And when you do that, you slowly and deeply re-experience the heart-wrenching and uplifting stories. I bawled my eyes out quite often while doing this. I distinctly remember sitting at my desk with tears gushing down my face while typing.

To protect confidentiality you have named the organization you work with as THP. But wouldn’t revealing the real name of the organization and their staff in the organization, get it across to more people? Wouldn’t people know where to reach for help, easily?

There are confidential and legal reasons as to why I switched the name for the publication of To the Survivors, but I think you are right. However, I believe the book became more universal by switching the name. Sexual violence exists all over the world, but the crisis center I volunteered at is in only one part of the world. By giving the name “The Healing Place” and not putting a location to it, I think more people can interpret the center and the messages for themselves, and possibly even relate more closely with it in the area they live.  

Among all the stories what is the one that affected you the most?

I don’t think I can say that one affected me the most because each story affects me. To me, all of the traumatic stories are painful, vulnerable, honest, empowering and inspirational, and so I have been affected quite deeply by each one and every story I hear that never made it into a book.  

As a man, has working for rape survivors been a challenge? How did you get past this obstacle?

The work continues to be challenging, but my faith and connection with God has always given me strength and clarity on what I need to do and where I need to go. Reading and meditating on Jesus’ work and life always moves and inspires me, so that has always helped me get past any obstacle that I face and will continue to face.

What is one final thing you’d like to tell our readers?

To the Survivors can be a difficult book to read, especially if you or someone you know has been raped or sexually assaulted. If you choose to read this book, please go at your own pace and reach out to someone for help if you need it at any time. To anyone reading this that has been affected by sexual violence in any way, you are not to blame. Nothing you did or didn’t do caused another person to hurt you or a loved one. It is not your fault. It's never your fault. You are not alone. You are never alone, even if you feel that way. There is someone out there that will listen to you, believe you, not judge you, and support you if you choose to open up. If you are not believed or treated poorly after speaking up, know that there is someone else who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and will help you along the way. Feelings of shame and guilt are normal, but know that shame and guilt do not have to remain throughout your life. You can grow and heal. You are stronger than you know, even when you feel weak. Be patient with yourself. Be good to yourself. Seek to understand the truth about yourself and listen to truth. Do not listen and believe the lies from sexual violence. To all who have been affected, know and truly understand that you are believed, you are not to blame, you are not alone, and you are loved by God more than you understand, even if you do not believe in God.

What are your plans in the future, do you want to write more? What will it be about? And what are your future plans for your volunteer work?

I plan to write more and have been working on a guidebook that will couple with To the Survivors. This guidebook will be an attempt to help change perpetrators’ minds, hearts and choices around these issues and hopefully prevent future assaults. The guidebook will also be designed to help educate and have people express themselves through reflective writing. In terms of volunteer work, I will continue to go where God leads me. I know that I will do this work as long as I am able to, and I ask God to guide me.

Do you read other authors? Which are your favorite?

I do not read much. In fact, I listen to far more music than I read; however, there are some authors who I think are incredible. I am a fan of Immaculee Ilibagiza, T.J. Parsell, Wally Lamb, Nancy Raine and Chris Herren to name a few.

Any contacts/websites/helplines in Asian countries or India, specifically, that you know or can share, that you know support the kind of work you do and help other survivors?

There are resource centers in India, Asia, and globally. Here are a few that I thought might be useful.

RAHI Foundation - www.rahifoundation.org

Majlis Legal Centre - www.majlislaw.com

SNEHA - snehamumbai.org

There are also crisis centers, hotlines, online chat groups and more throughout the world, so please search for additional information if you want to.  

Thank you to Robert Uttaro for this wonderful opportunity to  interview. And Best Wishes for your future writing and your volunteer work from all the readers at Mru's Books and Reviews.

Happy Reading!!