I picked The Rudest Book Ever because whenever I went looking for a non-fiction book to read, this book always showed up among recommendations. And honestly, I haven’t read very many good self-help books by Indian authors.
About The Author
Shwetabh Gangwar is another Youtuber, who is also a professional problem solver who became famous and published a book. He is popular for helping solve people’s problems and making videos of it. Either in their relationships, careers, or generally in life. This story reminds me of a book I read in 2020 – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Another blogger who shot to fame with his power with words and the ability to help people. Gangwar’s narrative is bold and likable due to his use of sarcasm and witty humor that smacks you in the face and makes you see yourself for what you are.
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So, let’s get to it. The Rudest Book Ever is 17 chapters and about 213 pages long. Right in the beginning, Gangwar mentions that this book is not meant to teach but is written to make you think. How to think – is the critical question the book answers. I want to give you one crucial takeaway from each chapter and probably a memorable quote by the author.
17 Lessons from The Rudest Book Ever
We are all products – it is up to us to be better products.
“So, without wasting time, let’s concern ourselves with arming you with better means, methods, and mechanisms to deflect and deal with shit that has happened to you, is happening to you, and will happen to you.”
Who doesn’t want to be special? – Become special through collecting skills
But what is specialness? Specialness is the badge of realization you earn. Do not seek the acceptance and approval of others for your specialness. Specialness should be the sensation felt on upgrading in life after having mastered a skill.
Dealing with rejections – Rejections are normal
Rejections are a part of everyone’s life. Rejections are normal. It does not mean there is something wrong with you. With time you must realize that you don’t need anybody’s approval to do what you want. Because doing that gives you a purpose, and fulfilling that purpose provides satisfaction and meaningful life.
People are weird, but don’t judge.
“Weird is one of the most fantastic words humans have come up with. It is neither a fully positive nor negative term.”
No one is special; neither is anyone stupid. Observe and rely on data, not gossip. Don’t go by first impressions. Don’t judge. We live in a world of marketing. Know a person based on real data.
The greatest of fears – the fear of failure.
Ask yourself; you want to do it, right? Wanting to do something is a choice. Therefore, to win, the very first thing you need to clarify in your mind is, do you really want to do this? When it’s a choice, there is an ownership of doing that thing.
Once you have decided to become capable, start seeing whatever you are doing as a challenge. Focusing on learning that has a utility creates opportunity and test your ability.
Finding love – dealing with romantic rejections
Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t reflect on you. When looking for someone, be realistic. Don’t chase fantasy. Set criteria realistically based on your personal goals on life. Take time and care to get to know people.
“In the absence of perspectives, a criteria, and foundational principles, what you are learning comes from garbage sources only meant to appeal to your fantasies.”
Knowing self
Eradicate thoughts and practices of seeking approval, acceptance and happiness.
Happiness is a Mirage
“What you haven’t realized is that happiness is not the same as satisfaction.” Happiness is momentary. Happiness is a feeling. “A feeling-based person is impulsive, excitable, lack a thoughtful process, doesn’t take the future into consideration and is therefore easily defeated by their feelings and easily manipulated by those who can create nice feelings in them.”
“Happiness is a by-product of life done right.
Choose Satisfaction Not Happiness
Seek stability in what you do to seek peacefulness. Such things cultivate your mind.
“Always remember: the true test of any idea is not its popularity, but how deeply it makes you think. Put whatever you find intellectually stimulating above what everybody else is doing.”
“KNOWING YOURSELF IS A SUPERPOWER.”
Don’t please anyone
You can’t please everyone, neither can you control them. Don’t compare yourself to others. If you rely on others for your motivation, you are indirectly controlled by them.
You are a nation
Upgrade yourself, become independent, become a self-reliant nation. Practice self-control and self-respect. “While self-control takes care of inner demons, self-respect takes care of enemies outside.”
There are no heroes
“The problem with ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is it blinds you to the aspects of being human. People are many, many things, but never wholly good or entirely bad.”
“Self-empowerment begins with accepting that you knowingly and unknowingly can cause great damage to yourself and others in the simplest of ways.”
To quote Mike Tyson- Everyone that you fight is not your enemy and everyone who helps you is not your friend.
Admire, never follow.
NOBODY’S PERFECT. Your focus should stay on the source of your admiration, which could be their actions, beliefs, creativity, or their intelligence.
Remember - You are a fan of the extraordinary acts of your heroes or role models and the products of their talents, not their lives. Learn to differentiate.
Seek to learn new things from people you admire.
Online life
The element of honesty is what separates blind following and admiration. Therefore, the more honest a person, the more you admire them. The less honest a person, the more you follow them.
Relationships
Don’t make love your authority. Walk out of a garbage relationship. And once you leave don’t look back. Work on self. Know yourself.
How to think
We live in a world that primarily celebrates knowledge, not intelligence.
Knowledge is a great thing when the objective is to make you think. It is a superpower when you use it to make better decisions in your life. Knowledge is what enhances your intelligence, because it is food for your thought. But when you don’t know how to use knowledge or data, and it is being used to show-off, then it reveals a lack of intelligence.
‘How to think’ requires two things:
- Abandonment of all the packets of information or perceptions you may have collected so far.
- Getting to know or finding out by relying on data and thinking.
Don’t Forget.
Learn to spot bullshit from a mile away
Solve your own problems
The more you engage in solving your problems, the easier it becomes to locate the exact source of why you might be creating problems that do not exist.
It’s all right to feel pain
You will become wiser by acknowledging your vulnerabilities, not by covering them up with distractions. Allow yourself to feel pain and acknowledge it with respect, not fear.
Never compare yourself to anybody
If somebody has more than you, good for them. You have you, so use your mind and the ability to learn together.
Don’t forget, having wrong beliefs is what makes you stupid; it’s the right ones that set you free. The only difference is the wrong ones are easily available, and you have to fight for the right ones.
Final Verdict
My favorite chapter was Admire, don’t follow because what Gangwar suggested resonated with me. In the age of social media and all its frenzy, it’s an invaluable recommendation.
Although an honest author with impactful writing, I won’t recommend this book to everyone. I did agree with everything the author has to say, but it is a book specially meant for teenagers starting in their careers or relationships or Young adult’s just venturing into the real world.
Who Should Read This
As a married woman with a 7-year-old kid I already follow must of what has been discussed. So I found nothing new or unique in what the other had to say. So to say, older readers might not find it very enlightening and may even find it repetitive. I’d instead recommend Mark Manson’s lessons. Manson’s writing would appeal to all age groups. And the writing is much crisper with clear lessons and takeaways.
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Happy Reading!
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